I'm Supertramp, and you're Super-Apple

Monday, April 13, 2009

desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

come down from your fences, and open the gate.
"Life on a Chain" - Pete Yorn
"This Velvet Glove" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
"My Generation" - The Who
"Walking on the Moon" - The Police
"The Late Greats" - Wilco
"Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf" - The Killers
"Arizona" - Kings of Leon
"Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" - U2
"California" - Rogue Wave
"Jesus, Etc." - Wilco
"Desperado" - The Eagles
"Mexico" - Jump, Little Children
"Road Trippin'" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Katherine Kiss Me" - Franz Ferdinand
"At Full Speed" - Jack's Mannequin

Sunday, April 12, 2009

the definition of dysfunctional

Background: The gang and I recently decided to intermarry so we would all be related.

-"Lil'" or "Big" denotes someone's younger or older sibling.
- A plus sign (+) denotes marriage.
- A tilde (~) denotes a love child or clandestine couplehood.
- A hyphen (-) denotes siblings.
- A vertical line (/\) denotes the child-parent line.

Canadian + The Anime One__
Half Asian One + The Short Blond One - The Athletic One + The Israeli One - The Floor Eater + The Instrumental One
__________ /\___________________________/\____
__The One Who Eats Kitchens ______ The Veggie One - The Feline One___
_______Big Veggie One____________CurtisCurtis___Lil' Theater One
___The Jewfro One + The Shepherdess___/\____ TheaterKid/Madrigal + Irish Madrigal
_______________________________ /\___________________ /\ __
___________ Toddler One - Toddler Two - The Soft-Haired One__The Classy One
_______________________Lil' Athlete__

every morning i pick jasmine flowers...

It is Easter Sunday, and like any other good Catholic, I stayed up until 4 am talking to my Jewish boyfriend and woke up at 11:30 to eat waffles and watch Persepolis, an animated film about life in Tehran during Iranian Shah's reign of terror throughout the 1980's. Despite the fact that it was not live-action and based on an extremely disturbing true story, I found the graphic novel adaption to be compelling and even funny at times.

I haven't been to church yet today, and probably won't go due to my mother's ill health. For those of you who have never sat a Roman Catholic Easter mass, you are not missing anything.

I mean, it's pretty and all, but honestly.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

this is not an FML.

Today, my mother interrupted my 3rd viewing of August Rush, a movie in which Jonathan Rhys-Meyers still manages to be beautiful nearly a decade after Bend it Like Beckham. The conversation went something like this:

Mother: I need you to go on an errand with your father.

Me: ...

Mother: I need you to get Easter presents for your Nana and Aunt Kathy. Go to that store in town that sells those silver napkin holders, you know the place I'm talking about, right? The one next to the bank and the nail salon? I was thinking that you could get some of those weights to go on top of the napkins, maybe some beachy ones? Make sure they're silver or else they won't match. Nana and Aunt Kathy like blues and yellows. Make sure the napkin holders are nice because they always get you something.

Me: Okay.

(Some Background Information: My mother is ailing and therefore cannot go out herself due to a combination of bathrobe and Lyme Disease.)

How harmless could this be, I thought to myself. I knew exactly what she wanted me to buy; they were little trinkety things from a store only good for housewarming gifts and Lilly Pulitzer ties. Welcome to New England, darlings.

Upon arrival at said store, Father and I poked around for a few moments before stumbling upon the much-coveted napkin holders. Lo and behold, they even had clam-shaped weights lying on a conveniently adjacent table. I replaced some hideous blue and green thatch-patterned napkins with a blue and white scroll one, which complimented the mollusk weights nicely. As Father and I were perusing the Venetian glass window display, we were accosted by two women in their mid-fifties who managed to look aggressive even while wearing Vineyard Vines sweaters.

Woman 1: "Excuse me, but you're not allowed to switch out those napkins."
Woman 2: "The manufacturer ships them to us to be sold for $44.50, and all three pieces - the holder, the napkin, and the weight - need to stay together."
Me: "Well, it's the same brand of weight-"
Woman 2: "Were they taped together?"
Me: "No."
Woman 2: "Well, you can only buy the correct napkins with these holders."
Me: "These napkins were on the same display as the-"
Woman 1: "Oh, those are just some inserts. Sometimes people like to buy more napkins separately so they don't have to re-purchase the whole set for $44.50. You know, if you want, you can buy the sets and then buy some more napkins to put in them."
Me: "I don't think it's worth it, they'll run out of napkins fairly soon anyways."
Woman 1: "True, very true."

I live in a society ruled by cocktail napkins.
That is all.

if you left it up to me, every day would be a holiday from real.

The above is my current daydream and previous childhood escape of Lavallette, New Jersey.

"I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend..." - Black Kids
"Lola Stars and Stripes" - The Stills
"Sly" - The Cat Empire
"Holiday From Real" - Jack's Mannequin
"Jacqueline" - Franz Ferdinand
"Baby Fratelli" - The Fratellis
"Mother Mary" - Foxboro Hot Tubs
"Don't You Evah" - Spoon
"Once Bitten, Twice Shy" - Ian Hunter
"Rock the Casbah" - The Clash
"Float On" - Modest Mouse
"Rivers of Babylon" - Sublime
"Heavy Metal Drummer" - Wilco
"Soul Meets Body" - Death Cab for Cutie

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

the complicated futility of ignorance

I had never tasted blackberry brandy before. I never want to taste it again. It did bad things to me.It made me a crybaby about the war. That is something I swore I would never be.

If I could order any drink I wanted now, it would be a Sweet Rob Roy on the rocks, a Manhattan made with Scotch. That was another drink a woman introduced me to, and it made me laugh instead of cry, and fall in love with the woman who said to try one. That was in Manila, after the excrement hit the air conditioning in Saigon. She was Harriet Gummer, the war correspondent from Iowa. She had a son by me without telling me.

His name? Rob Roy.


"Professor Hartke," Jason Wilder said to me gently, reasonably, when the tape had reached its end, "why on Earth would you want to tell such tales to young people who need to love their country?"

"I'm telling them history," I said, "and I had had a little too much to drink. I usually don't drink that much."

-K. Vonnegut, Jr.


about me

My photo
United States
in my spare time i enjoy speaking in foreign accents, playing goal, reading short stories, surfing badly, wearing sweatpants in public, watching bend it like beckham, singing harmony, and looking stuff up on wikipedia. i also row five seat in a sweep eight, which i like most of the time.